Posts Tagged ‘state’

1. State Flower – The Orange Traffic Cone
2. State Flour – Durum Semolina
3. Number of Museums Dedicated to Rock & Roll – 1
4. Number of Museums Dedicated to the Partridge Family – 0
5. Scariest Lake – Lake Eerie
6. State Joke: Q. What do young Stags see out of? A. Buckeyes.
7. State Electrical Unit – The Ohm
8. State Chanting Unit – The Om
9. City That is Most Thanked – Cleveland. As in “Thank you Cleveland! You’ve been great.”
10. State Fly – The Zipper
11. State Zipper – The Fly
12. State Bird – Roadrunner (Yes, the one the Coyote is after)
13. State Fragrance – Kumquat Spice
14. State Flag – Pennant-shaped. Technically a “burgee” shape. Flag has 17 stars because it was the 17th state when admitted in 1803
15. State Candy – M&M
16. State Rapper – Also Eminem
17. State Motto – Ohio: First in Lubrication
18. State Cannabis Motto – “Ohhh, High, Ohhh”
19. State Capitol – Ɏ (This is the symbol for the state capitol formerly known as Columbus, who’s not too popular these days)

 

 

Ohio is still annoyed by those little Dayton bicycle makers – the Wright Bros. – who had to go all the way to Kitty Hawk, NC for the world’s first flight. What, they couldn’t spend those 11 seconds on the shores of Lake Erie?

 

Q: What state is Ohio in?

A: Ohio is a state.

Q:  I mean what state…is Ohio in?

A: Oh, you mean like flux or ignorance.

1. Yeah.
2. Well I’d say Ohio was in a state of Denali.
3. You mean denial.
4. No. Denali. They want to be Mt McKinley, but they’re about 18,000 ft short.

Every state endeavors to generate tourism dollars through ambitious marketing programs. But sometimes these promotions miss the mark. Witness these botched attempts at stimulating tourism through well-intentioned, but ultimately misguided brochures:

1. Colorado: Thanks to Recently Enacted Marijuana Laws Denver is Now the 2-Mile High City
   

   If you’re a generic tourist going nowhere in particular, you might like this nondescript and vacuous travel guide. Meanwhile But if you want to go some place check out these travel brochures some states probably wish they never created in the first place.

2. New Mexico: The Land of Entrapment
3. New Mexico: Come for the Radiation. Stay for the ‘Shrooms
4. Maryland: We’re Trying. Really. Please Don’t Judge Us by Baltimore
5. Wyoming: Live Rectangular or Die
6. Florida: America’s Dangling Body Part
7. Michigan: Good Mitten, Bad Mitten
8. California: The Land of Fruits & Nuts
9. California: Ignoring Sexual Harassment from 1850 until 2017
10. Delaware: We’re Anti-paranoid. We think everyone is trying to ignore us.
11. Arkansas: Our “kansas” isn’t pronounced like Kansas’s “Kansas”
12. New Jersey: America’s Lymph System Since 1940
13. Alaska: Our Most Northern, Western and Eastern State – Google It
14. Indiana: Who’s yer state?
15. Washington: Home to Boing, Tinysoft and Barstucks
16. Mississippi: “When yer standin’ on yer head, we’re number 1 in everything!”
17. Mississippi: Still leading the nation in outhouses per capita
18. Mississippi: More Potable Water than Ethiopia and Way More Paved Roads than Bangladesh
19. Mississippi: Separate and Equal Drinking Fountains for Each and Every Minority
20. Connecticut: “Even we don’t know why there’s a second ‘c’ in our name and we live here”
21. Illinois: Land of Lincoln, Air of Jersey, Water of Flint
22. Alabama: Thank God We’ve Got College Football
23. Louisiana: “Have you visited us lately? We’re barely part of the United States.”
24. Texas: Too Big to fail. We’re just underachieving instead.
25. Texas: At Least We’ve Got Austin
26. Oklahoma: Unchanged since 1907
27. Oklahoma: Unchanged since the Big Bang
28. Oklahoma: Come and Watch Time Stand Still
29. Oklahoma: We have a city named Enid – need we say more?
30. Missouri: The Blow Me State
31. Wisconsin: We’ve Lost Our Minds, Come Find Yours
32. Wisconsin: “I don’t care how inefficient they are; can we please go back to the one kind of regular screw in light bulb?”…and other pleas against modernity in the lighting industry.
33. Kansas: What Wisconsin Said

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