Ditties | davidhardiman.com

I Don’t Want to Say the Guy Was a Neanderthal, But…

David Hardiman — Sun, 03 May 2026 19:37:26 +0000

the only way he could cool his body was by panting he called the Paleo Diet just “diet” if you pointed at something down the street, he’d just look at the end of your finger during a full moon he howled like Michael McDonald he thought the city zoo was an apartment complex he thinks […]

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The Perilous Times in Which We Live

David Hardiman — Sun, 29 Mar 2026 17:57:15 +0000

Who doesn’t remember exactly where they were when The Price Is Right admitted that there was no succession plan in place for host Drew Carey? Absolutely unconscionable of them. Another more recent case of having one’s core beliefs shattered is when it was announced that J Lo’s residency at Caesar’s Palace would be curtailed due […]

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People of the Earth and Their Reputation

David Hardiman — Sat, 20 Dec 2025 06:23:20 +0000

1. Nomads excel at anger management 2. Czechs use Venmo 3. The Assyrians were just regular Syrians, but with really big asses 4. The Finnish are done 5. In Warsaw they Pole dance 6. The Sea Anemone is the enemy of the Yemini 7. Q: If you go into a bathroom an American, and come […]

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Dining at 40,000 ft? It’s Absolutely God’s Intention.

David Hardiman — Tue, 11 Nov 2025 14:46:26 +0000

Lest you think it wasn’t God’s intention for man to eat in the sky, there is biblical precedence for it. So it is written in Ezekiel 1:15: And so it came to pass that Ezekiel saw the wheel Way up in the middle of the air And he saw that it was good And […]

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An Airborne Twist of Semantics

David Hardiman — Tue, 04 Nov 2025 17:21:11 +0000

If at the dawn of aviation, cabin crew members were originally called flight attendants instead of stewardesses, the term flight attendant would be viewed as a derogatory term. Yet in a twist of semantics the reverse has happened today whereby the job descriptor stewardess is somehow seen as defamatory and the term flight attendant is […]

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Collected FB Posts

David Hardiman — Mon, 22 Jul 2024 17:20:08 +0000

1. Here are some of my favorite numbers:Novocain, Lidocaine…Before you continue, you should know the “b” in numbers is silent. . 2. There are no recorded cases of Siamese twins playing Hide and Seek.Or if there was, the game was over really fast. . 3. Remember the Fonts from Happy Days?He was a really cool […]

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FB Post

David Hardiman — Sun, 30 Jun 2024 18:58:47 +0000

. I dislike dyslexics. I dislike lichens.I like relinquishing licorice. I like relishing liquor.However clever, I can’t stand to sit. .

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As I Get Older

David Hardiman — Fri, 07 Jun 2024 14:51:37 +0000

1. My favorite fruit is elderberries (the older the elder, the better) 2. Favorite name is Jerry Atrick 3. My favorite dog bark is “AARP” 4. Favorite special is the Early Bird Special (finish dinner @ 4:55) 5. At the height of summer, I go to bed while it’s still light out 6. The Lawrence […]

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A Very Esoteric Thought from a Very Retired Man

David Hardiman — Sun, 31 Mar 2024 19:25:03 +0000

. All part of my “If You’re Not Going to Think About It, I Will” series . Do you think the actor Treat Williams’s parents looked at their newborn son and thought, “Should we call him John or Treat? Hmmm. Let’s go with Treat?” And the name served him well except for Halloween, when he’d […]

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On the Road to Galilee 22 AD

David Hardiman — Sun, 31 Mar 2024 17:21:38 +0000

A band of Spaniards had come all the way from La Mancha to seek out the young Jesus, who was then ministering in Galilee. Over hill and dale they searched for the Messiah. Spotting the Lord and his entourage walking in the distance, their leader beckoned to him: The Man of La Mancha: Hey Zeus! […]

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