Archives

Incredible Edibles: Stoner-Friendly Dishes Served at Medical Marijuana Eateries

  1. Wavy Gravy – A stoner classic. It’s a regular gravy lake you stare at, and then you swear it becomes wavy.
  2. Ham-murmurs and Hot Gods – A hallucinogenic take on America’s favorites. Dyslexilicious. Laminated menu with glossy pictures makes it easy for space cadets to point and order.
  3. Sue Nami’s Tsunami of Tzatziki Sauce – Who cares how it looks. It spells great.
  4. ♫Take a sad brownie, and make it better♫

    Smorgasbord of Marshmallow S’mores – As good tasting as it is hard to say

  5. Limp Biskit Infused with Viagra – With this special batter you can now pour yourself a stiff one.
  6. Endless Loop of Froot Loops – One simply cannot eat it alone, but toucan.
  7. Kraft Mellowroni & Cheese – Talk about your comfort food. This soothing dish is a favorite with low budget college kids.
  8. The Candy Man Did – We always knew the Candy man could. Well, now he has: Everlasting Gobstoppers.
  9. Lobster with Mother Jones Special Herbs – So good you’ll swear you’re molting.
  10. MC Escher’s Bottomless Bowl of Tiny Cookies: A  jar full of increasingly Tiny Cookies that gradually dissolve into imperceptible granules. Then almost undetectably the cookie crumbs coalesce and start to grow progressively larger as the process repeats itself you come to realize you’re confined to a crummy oscillating universe.
  11. 22/7 of a Pizza Pi – An irrational, irreducible pizza. In theory it can never be eaten, but it’s fun to try.
  12. Who Cares What It Is, I’ve Got Serious Munchies – Just know that it’s chewable and non –toxic.
  13. Beer Battered Bear Balls – You’ll never actually eat one. You’ll just convulse in laughter trying to say, “Please pass the Beer Battered Bear Balls.”
  14. Kentucky Fried Corn – Makes a kernel proud. You’ll appreciate the play on words in your mouth even if it is kinda corny.
  15. Tears in My Eyes Maui Onion – Hotter than Kilauea magma, this onion will bring tears to your already red eyes both for its chemical irritant and its superlative, layered beauty.
  16. Cake – Just generic cake. Eat the whole thing and shut up. You know you love it. Simple carbohydrates will have you chasing prey on the Serengeti like a cheetah. Comes in chocolate and Wildebeest flavor
  17. Peanut Butter and KY Jelly Muffwich – Again, just eat it and shut up. You know you love it. Comes with a side of Benadryl.
  18. LGBTQ Rainbow Sherbet – So stunning in its colorfully icy plumage that most just stare slack-jawed until it melts.
  19. Bacon Grease with Dippy Bread – Artery-hardening liquid joy. Must make out Will prior to eating.
  20. Denny’s Slam Bam Grand Slam Ham & Clam Jam – Filthily spreadable. Comes with hairless buns.
  21. Dinfast – That thing when you need to eat continuously from dinner to breakfast. We call it Dinfast. Depending on the time of day we also serve Fastlun and Lunner. Note: Brunch not available

Comments are closed.