Early London Tube Routes No Longer in Use

1. The Vacuum Tube – Antiquated route. Replaced by the Transistor Tube and eventually the Digital Highway
2. The Fallopian Tube – AKA “The Tunnel of Love.” Getting there was half the fun and once there people didn’t want to leave
3. The Test Tube – Never got beyond beta. They were always experimenting with this Tube.
4. The Boob Tube – Fail. Riders watched it instead of riding it
5. Like Totally Tubular Man – The fact that it was located in San Fernando Valley and not England had more to do with its demise than anything else

Notable Tube Stops

1. Mattress Springs
2. Gobsmack Wickets
3. Poopchute Commons
4. Hospital Corners
5. Isle of View (AKA – I Love You)
6. Sure Would Forest
7. Minster
8. West Minster
9. Upper Minster
10. Lower Minster
11. Minster-upon-Minster
12. Minster Minster Minster – Marcia Brady lived here briefly
13. Minsterpool
14. Minstershire
15. Minsterham
16. Shrinkage Flats
17. Upper Lip
18. Stiff Upper Lip
19. Lifesasham
20. Eden
21. East of Eden
22. Titwhistle Sound
23. Spit-by-the-Sea
24. Mucous Greens
25. Paltrow Goop
26. Cabbie Abbey
27. UBER Abbey
28. Abbey Road
29. Bedlam
30. Mayhem
31. Bedham
32. Maylem
33. Maybe Bedlam, Maybe Mayhem
34. Bridge-over-Troubled Waters
35. Fancy That Guvnah
36. East Fancy That Guvnah
37. Cameltoe Arches
38. Blossom Farts Hollow
39. Stratford-upon-Avon – Home to Shakespeare
40. Nose-upon-Face
41. White-on-Rice
42. Once-upon-Atime – Home to Fairytales
43. Picklesworth
44. East Picklesworth
45. Slightly East, But More to the Northeast Without Actually Being In East Picklesworth Proper
46. Nowhere Near Picklesworth, more Devonshire than Picklesworth
47. Will You Forget Picklesworth Already This is Cavendish Forks
48. Gherkinville
49. 55 Miles Due East of Picklesworth
50. Stink-on-Shite
51. Paper Docks
52. Shallowpool
53. Humbug Station
54. Scrooge Rectory
55. Jesus, Will You Let It Go, You’re Not in Picklesworth Anymore and We’re Not Even Going to Picklesworth
56. East Jesus, Will You Let It Go, You’re Not in Picklesworth Anymore and We’re Not Even Going to Picklesworth
57. The Heights of Impropriety 
    
58. Pissinboot Falls
59. Prominent Flats
60. Plain Commons
61. Extraordinary Commons
62. Dingleberry Farms
63. Papist Trappings
64. Texarkana – Who knew they’d have one too?
65. Sticky Wicket Thickets

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