https://davidhardiman.com A safe and legal literary drug. Now available in prescription strength. Wed, 07 Jan 2026 06:25:56 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.9.4 https://davidhardiman.com/wp-content/uploads/cropped-Header-32x32.jpg https://davidhardiman.com 32 32 https://davidhardiman.com/blog/dave-shares-his-thoughts/ Mon, 05 Jan 2026 19:17:57 +0000 https://davidhardiman.com/?p=7244 I wonder which is more wind resistant: Tumbleweed or Ariana Grande. I worry about that little pixie being picked up by a stiff breeze and never being seen or heard from again. So I’m not hip anymore. I wouldn’t recognize Dua Lipa or Doja Cat if they were French kissing me. And speaking of same, […]

The post Dave Shares His Thoughts first appeared on davidhardiman.com.]]> 7244 https://davidhardiman.com/blog/a-random-list-that-has-nothing-to-do-with-the-new-year/ Thu, 01 Jan 2026 16:49:46 +0000 https://davidhardiman.com/?p=7237 Archimedes, angered at misplacing his toga, exclaims “Eureka, I have lost it!” Archimedes math problems keep multiplying Archimedes says he’s screwed! (think, think, that’s it. You have found it!) It has been determined that William Shatner’s body is 95% ham The bark of Dogwood trees is ruff Self-Check Out is very popular these days. In […]

The post ***A Random List that has Nothing to Do with the New Year*** first appeared on davidhardiman.com.]]> 7237 https://davidhardiman.com/blog/daves-executive-orders-in-order-to-form-a-more-perfect-onion/ Mon, 22 Dec 2025 07:18:47 +0000 https://davidhardiman.com/?p=7229 There shall be established one approved name for all grandmothers, and it shall be Nonni. The Olsen Files to be released: It shall be publicly posted why Susan Olsen (little Cindy Brady) did not participate in the first Brady reunion movie. It’s been 38 years. The public has waited long enough. Ken Burns shall make […]

The post Dave’s Executive Orders: In Order to Form a More Perfect Onion first appeared on davidhardiman.com.]]> 7229 https://davidhardiman.com/blog/people-of-the-earth-and-their-reputation/ Sat, 20 Dec 2025 06:23:20 +0000 https://davidhardiman.com/?p=7225 1. Nomads excel at anger management 2. Czechs use Venmo 3. The Assyrians were just regular Syrians, but with really big asses 4. The Finnish are done 5. In Warsaw they Pole dance 6. The Sea Anemone is the enemy of the Yemini 7. Q: If you go into a bathroom an American, and come […]

The post ***People of the Earth and Their Reputation*** first appeared on davidhardiman.com.]]> 7225 https://davidhardiman.com/blog/hes-so-old/ Tue, 25 Nov 2025 05:50:25 +0000 https://davidhardiman.com/?p=7198 1. He threw rice at Adam & Eve’s wedding 2. He’s covered his ears when the Big Bang happened 3. He remembers when Alec Baldwin was still good-looking 4. He called Jesus Christ by his middle name “H” 5. He remembers when stardust first began coalescing into Steven Jobs . He’s So Old… 6. He […]

The post He’s So Old… first appeared on davidhardiman.com.]]> 7198 https://davidhardiman.com/blog/top-10-least-popular-ken-burns-documentaries-shortened-to-9-then-lengthened-to-11/ Mon, 24 Nov 2025 16:39:21 +0000 https://davidhardiman.com/?p=7196 Spelt, Millet and Amaranth: A Celebration of Ancient Grains American Hammertoe: Tendon Lock in the Distal Phalanx Greek Mythology: A Bunch of Made-up Stuff Not Worth Knowing “Everything OK Hun?”: The Adorable Way in Which Husbands Try to Participate in Their Marriages Thump, Thump, Thump: When the Washing Machine is Imbalanced Elon Musk: The Man, […]

The post Top 10 Least Popular Ken Burns Documentaries Shortened to 9, Then Lengthened to 11 first appeared on davidhardiman.com.]]> 7196 https://davidhardiman.com/blog/new-olympic-sports/ Sun, 04 Aug 2024 18:27:26 +0000 https://davidhardiman.com/?p=7133 3 on 6 Basketball – Seems unfair and it is Oh Give Me a Break Dancing – A counseling session where clear-eyed therapists try to persuade Break Dancers that, for God’s sake, Break Dancing is not a sport. I mean it’s a thing, it’s just not a sport Blue Collar Fencing – Forget sabers, epées […]

The post New Olympic Sports first appeared on davidhardiman.com.]]> 7133 https://davidhardiman.com/blog/fb-post-2/ Fri, 02 Aug 2024 05:07:40 +0000 https://davidhardiman.com/?p=7127 Q.   What do you call a southern guy who is a stickler for syntax? A.   Grammar Cracker . Compound Words Something Sostupid Forreal Tripound Words Nonetheless Novomitzone Yesforreal Fourpound Words 64 oz. (get it – 4 pounds?) Sheonefinebitch Youstillreadingthis

The post FB Post first appeared on davidhardiman.com.]]> 7127 https://davidhardiman.com/blog/famous-lines-from-movies-that-havent-been-made-yet/ Tue, 23 Jul 2024 21:50:51 +0000 https://davidhardiman.com/?p=7117 The truth I can handle. Your breath is another story. Houston, we have a polyp. Now do you understand why there’s a Sawzall on my nightstand? If they make Ferris Bueller’s Day Off 2 ” Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and do laundry once in a while, you could run out of […]

The post Famous Lines from Movies That Haven’t Been Made Yet first appeared on davidhardiman.com.]]> 7117 https://davidhardiman.com/blog/%e2%99%ab-i-feel-witty-oh-so-witty-%e2%99%ab/ Tue, 23 Jul 2024 17:12:15 +0000 https://davidhardiman.com/?p=7114 I just hit 18,000 followers. Amazing that Facebook would let me create 17,852 fake accounts.   Found out the hard way:There is no “eye of the avalanche“   Years ago, erotic records were played on pornographs. They were groovy. They had to be in order to be played.   Let’s all say wunderkind together. Ready? […]

The post ♫ I Feel Witty. Oh So Witty ♫ first appeared on davidhardiman.com.]]> 7114