Now being celebrated thanks to special interest groups, lobbyists and me:

1. National Dog Day – Because every dog has its day
2. Doris Day Day – To remind us that a day without Day is like night. No word yet on a Susan Dey Day or a Kiki Dee Day.
3. Leaf Blower Awareness Day – Hardly necessary. I mean what day are we not aware of them?
4. Sarcasm Font Appreciation Day – Really? Yes, really. Whoopee, a whole day. Well la-ti-da. Everything I ever needed to know about sarcasm fonts I learned at Font U.
5. A Hard Day’s Night Day – Who doesn’t love the Beatles. For me it’s just a day in the life.
6. Kleenex Tissue Appreciation Day – This day is both mind and nose-blowing. Hemingway once said, “Courage is grace under pressure.” Well if that be true then “Kleenex is valor in the face slime.” To a self-sacrificing Kleenex, nose-blowing is mucous to their ears. Breaking News: Man sneezes on dog. Phlegm at 11.
7. Tankless Hot Water Systems Appreciation Day – It’s a tankless task so they gave’m a day
8. Self-Awareness Awareness Day – For enlightened people who forget themselves. It is celebrated by looking at yourself in a mirror until you’ve switched places or Alice shows up.
9. National “Is This a Thing Day” – Well, is it a Thing? They gave it a day so I guess that makes it a Thing. Someone was thinging outside the box.
10. Gee I Wonder if the Other Side of My Ceiling Fan Blades Have Satanic Messages On Them Appreciation Day – Helps paranoid homeowners come to terms with this great unknown.
11. Poached Eggs with Salt and Pepper Over Crisp Toast Month – So good! I’m head ova heels for these eggs
12. Scurvy Prevention Month – C if you handle it by eating beriberi. Lymes also prevent this disease
13. Blood Donor Awareness Day – O I’m just trying to B positive about this even though the bloody English opted out of this Day through a Blexit
14. Appreciating People Who Pronounce the words “Newcular, Supposebly and Aks” Correctly – It’s a hole nother way of preciating something
15. Just to reiterate, and this isn’t part of the list, but the poached egg thing in #11…Huge. Try it again. Irresistible.
16. Cars with Back-up Rear Camera Appreciation Day – A great device. I just wish my techno-savvy kid would stop secretly splicing in film of the Grand Canyon when I’m backing up. Scared the bejesus out of me.
17. National I Wish My Kid Didn’t Scare the Bejesus Out of Me Day – (see above) It’s a day just for me thanks to my techno-savvy kid
18. The Good Kind of Cancer Appreciation Day – Thank the Lord for small favors and even smaller tumors
19. List of Ultra-Obscure National “Appreciation” Days Appreciation Day – Start yours today

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