The Stories | davidhardiman.com

Irrational Panic at 40,000 Feet: Is There any Other Kind?

David Hardiman — Sun, 14 Dec 2025 16:52:45 +0000

When you’re voluntarily imprisoned in an airliner – buckled up and cinched in, seatback and tray table in the upright and locked position – one’s prevailing reality can change quickly. While you’re optimizing the miserly 11 cubic feet of space you’re allotted, seemingly trivial matters can swell into a wave of overwhelming stuff – a […]

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The Duke of Occam: If He Can’t Take a Joke, Occam!

David Hardiman — Tue, 09 Dec 2025 16:59:36 +0000

Disclaimer/Preamble/Full Disclosure: In this mostly fictionalized account of his life and times, I do little justice to William of Occam. But the present need for necessary distraction being so great, combined with my desire to provide such vital distraction; a gathering storm has arisen, and the approaching precipitate is set to rain all o’er you. […]

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TV’s June Lockhart Saves Petticoat Junction: An Appreciation

David Hardiman — Fri, 31 Oct 2025 06:13:36 +0000

It’s been said by people with credit scores much higher than mine, that “the devil is in the details.” But I see things differently, because for me, “the humor is in the details” and that’s what prompts this overly elaborate think-piece highlighting the late June Lockhart’s impact on Petticoat Junction. And if you’re like me […]

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Hardiman Goes Off the Reservation…for Lunch

David Hardiman — Fri, 14 Feb 2025 07:04:49 +0000

The Syracuse City School District referred to grades 7 through 9 as junior high school. The feeble term “middle school” was reserved for those milquetoast suburban kids whose districts had sleek, modern buildings and full-fledged orchestras featuring fierce battles over who was going to get first chair. My desegregated and gritty junior high school was […]

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Take a Quick Trip with Me Through 1840’s Washington City and the Erie Canal. I’ll Drive.

David Hardiman — Sun, 23 Jun 2024 20:59:29 +0000

I (along with thousands of others) have enjoyed a satisfying career working very indirectly for many Presidents in the Executive Branch of government while employed by the DOT (Department of Transportation) in the FAA (Federal Aviation Administration) as an ATC (Air Traffic Controller). It was during this period of my life I developed my passion […]

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This Preposterous Anecdote has the Advantage of Being Absolutely True

David Hardiman — Fri, 07 Jun 2024 14:17:29 +0000

This story alone rates a book in itself and is probably my most requested story. Whenever I’m with friends or family and they realize someone hasn’t heard it yet, they invariably plead, “Oh please, tell them the Toby story.” And I will and it goes something like this: I was fortunate that whenever I had […]

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Seeking Better Working Conditions, Gemstones Threaten Job Action

David Hardiman — Wed, 17 Apr 2024 20:45:59 +0000

Gemstones, long thought to be perfectly content being ogled for their beauty, are now demanding to be recognized for their brains too. Spokeswoman Katie Clarity remarked, “Gemstones are more than just Pet Rocks and they deserve to be treated like the elegant ornaments they are, and not the trophy trinkets they’ve become. These precious stones, […]

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The New 14 Commandments

David Hardiman — Sun, 03 Mar 2024 20:27:02 +0000

(As It Pertains to Peoples’ Names) Be it known to all homo sapiens, that I (your eternal pal, the Almighty) am not a fan of these designer, boutique names that so many of my errant flock have wantonly applied to themselves. These hip-hop and vacuous monikers conjure up unjustified notions of characters ranging from gilded […]

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My Really, Really Old Friend Franco

David Hardiman — Wed, 07 Feb 2024 02:23:12 +0000

My buddy Franco is not elderly. Norman Lear was elderly. Franco is ancient. He’s older than dirt – literally. He’s so old he still suffers from hearing loss from standing too close to the original Big Bang. But more noteworthy is that he’s the only person with 24 pairs of chromosomes (instead of the usual […]

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♫ A Day in My Life ♫

David Hardiman — Wed, 08 Nov 2023 01:19:03 +0000

It’s 1969. AD. I’m 8 years old and happily ensconced all alone in the cozy confines of my downstairs game room where I’m playing pool and groovin’ (yes, groovin’) to Beatles music on our state-of-the-art Magnavox Quadraphonic stereo. I’m the best company a boy can have. And the beauty part is I’m never without me. And while I […]

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