https://davidhardiman.com A safe and legal literary drug. Now available in prescription strength. Fri, 02 Feb 2024 21:01:49 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.9.4 https://davidhardiman.com/wp-content/uploads/cropped-Header-32x32.jpg https://davidhardiman.com 32 32 https://davidhardiman.com/blog/holy-cow-catholic-church-elects-elsie-as-new-pope/ Wed, 03 May 2023 06:52:06 +0000 https://davidhardiman.com/?p=6450 In a stunning turn of events at the Papal Conclave in Vatican City, the College of Cardinals has displayed bovine passivity in shunning more religious candidates and instead electing Elsie the Cow as the new Pope. For her papacy, Elsie will take the name of Lactose the Tolerant.   Groan Appetit Pilgrims: Punnery in the […]

The post Holy Cow! Catholic Church Elects Elsie as New Pope first appeared on davidhardiman.com.]]> 6450 https://davidhardiman.com/blog/google-proposes-to-buy-catholic-church/ Fri, 14 Feb 2020 19:01:23 +0000 https://davidhardiman.com/?p=4937 In an unlikely marriage of high tech and high mass, Google Inc. has vowed to purchase the 2000 year old Christian start-up and convert it from a parochial relic of medieval luminosity, to a go-to search engine of latter day enlightenment. In other words to reimagine the Church, not as some vestigial sanctuary of last […]

The post Google Proposes to Buy Catholic Church first appeared on davidhardiman.com.]]> 4937 https://davidhardiman.com/blog/ben-jerrys-31-flavors-of-christianity/ Mon, 03 Jun 2019 20:24:25 +0000 https://davidhardiman.com/?p=4791 Amish Barn Raisin’ – A very sober version of Rum Raisin Quakers ‘n Cream – Vastly superior to Quakers ‘n Oats Chunky Catholic – Ben & Jerry say they conceived of this ice cream immaculately. It’s filled with chunks of guilt, ribbons of redemption and dollops of dogma. Made from the milk of baptized cows, […]

The post Ben & Jerry’s 31 Flavors of Christian Ice Cream first appeared on davidhardiman.com.]]> 4791 https://davidhardiman.com/blog/the-apocryphal-discovery-of-isaac-newtons-1661-trinity-college-thesis-on-the-catholic-church/ Sun, 03 Jan 2016 23:19:39 +0000 https://davidhardiman.com/?p=3298 Mrs. Hattie Beasley of Ipswich expected nothing more than a serviceable Queen Anne picture frame when she paid a bargain 3 quid 10 bob for it at the estate sale of dearly departed Gwendolyn Chatham in 1992. She planned on removing the existing picture of 4 English Bulldogs playing poker and replacing it with one […]

The post The Apocryphal Discovery of Isaac Newton’s 1661 Trinity College Thesis on the Catholic Church first appeared on davidhardiman.com.]]> 3298