1. 

   Half Baked ice cream meets half baked ideas for a wholesome experience. This is highly productive inefficiency!

   Chunky Catholic – It’s filled with tempting bananas, tantalizing walnuts and overwhelming chunks of guilt. Eating it is actually a confessable sin.

2. Amish Barn Raisin’ – A very sober version of Rum Raisin
3. Pralines ‘n Puritans – You can tell which are which by licking them
4. Quakers ‘n Cream – Vastly superior to Quakers ‘n Oats
5. Episcopal Popsicles – Ideal for the Frozen Chosen
6. Black Walnut Ice Cream Matters – Always has
7. Televangelist Dough – Oh they’re rollin’ in it.
8. Amish Garcia – Get your pious Grateful Dead fix satisfied with a sober scoop of this clear-eyed version of Cherry Garcia
9. Pentecostal Pecan – So good you won’t bother speaking in tongues; you’ll start licking in tongues.
10. Rosicrucian Crunch – Mostly Boneless Ice Cream
11. Rocky Road to Heaven – ♫You’re going to find your way to heaven is a rough and rocky road, if you don’t stop and smell the Rose-icrucians along the way♫
12. Heathen Heath Bar Toffee – Popular with Atheists. It’s topped with a blast of blaspheme and tastes positively sacrilicious.
13. Amish Cheesecake – I never thought the two could mix. Also comes with a racy calendar – if you’re into bonnets.
14. Russian Orthodox ‘n Hydrox – A smash up of the Eastern Coptic Church and proto-Oreos. A precursor to Oreos ‘n Cream
15. Branch Davidian w/Cashews, Walnuts, Pecans etc. – As you might expect this Branch Davidian sect is absolutely filled with all kinds of nuts
16. I Can’t Believe It’s Not Ice Cream – A frozen confection for disbelieving atheists
17. Double Dutch Reformed Church – This tasty little number is served in a crunchy waffle shoe
18. Blended Mormon Clusters – Somehow manages to marry several individual flavors into one big happy family
19. Creaminess Is Next to Godliness – A heavenly ice cream from God’s lips to your cone
20. 21 Thru 32 Flavors are still in the experimental stage
21. Jehovah’s Witness Protection Program
22. Jehovah’s Moustache
23. Jehovah Falls Down Goes Plop
24. Seventh Day Adventist
25. Third Trimester Adventist
26. Second Semester Dentist
27. Note: Sneaking this in to see who my friends really are, if you would please write the words “Dan is a Primate” on my wall and then post a picture of yourself with a multi-armed aquatic rescue animal on your page during an even-numbered minute with the comment, “I think Cephalopods have a swell head” then I’ll continue to wish you happy birthday when Facebook reminds me.
28. Shakers-n-Quakers-n-Bears Oh My!
29. The Mostly Reformed Church of Generally Unrepentant Moravians…and the women who love them.

Alright, 19 full-fledged flavors and 7 flavors in the formulation stage is probably enough ice cream for one sitting. If you can find more flavors, that will be a scoop.

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