Archive for September, 2017
Background White noises designed to promote deep & restful sleep in the Loosely Wrapped
- Endless loop of Oktoberfest Burping
- A soothing recording of a woman continuously saying, “The Sandman will see you now.”
- Repeated sound of a cat scrambling to get out of a bathtub with 2” of water in it
- For the Zen sleeper: The sound of one hand clapping
- Doppler-shifted instructions of a flight attendant screaming, “In the unlikely event of a water landing…”
- A cacophony of very moist chewing
- A succession of watermelons dropped from 7 stories
- A succession of 7 stories dropped from a library
- Cute kid mispronouncing the word library as “libary” – puts you right out (if you’re weird)
- Ugly guy mispronouncing February as “Febuary”; and no I don’t know how you’d know he was ugly if it’s just an audio recording. I don’t even know whether or not he’s transgendered. This is just a stupid list I made up before bed, so give me a break before you get all judgey.
- A guy saying over and over, “Y’know the app sucks, but the list is kinda funny.”
Good night everyone. Sleep tight, but not too tight.