Archive for January, 2012



The sublimity of Einstein’s work has long since been co-opted by a popular culture more susceptible to brushstrokes than pointillism. Its meaning lost in the celebrity of its rumpled messenger. Some of this is understandable because the mathematics underpinning his theories aren’t exactly self evident[1]. Especially to those who balance a checkbook with the phrase, “That seems about right.” But the beauty of Einstein’s underlying message – that everything is derived from one source – is exemplified in the search for this Holy Grail in his unified field theory. Read the rest of this entry »

“Hello Cruel World”

Tesla was right

The eerie glow of this helical fluorescent light bulb has nothing to do with story on left.

 It is with the lightest of hearts and sunniest of dispositions I must inform you of the drastic decision I’ve reached – I’m going to take my life. I’ve made my decision and no one can stop me. I’m going to take my life…..To a new level! Yes dear, I’ll stop at nothing to burst the chains of ego and dissolve back into my source code. I don’t need me anymore. No one needs such extravagant manifestation, so I’m going back to where it all began. By the time you read this letter I’ll already be cosmically conscious and will only answer to the name Yaweh. Please recognize that in my zeal for personal extinguishment and collective enlightenment I’ll stop at nothing to render myself indistinguishable from God. Although I may have nothing to lose but my chains, I’m no cosmic commie. Rather, I commit myself to subordination in order to transcend the supposed station I’ve arrived at and to zero myself out as a karma producing entity.

Right now I’m a stinking little karma factory – and this olfactory reeks to high heaven. I’m done with it. So I’m temporarily leaving this world to merge with the indescribable stratocumulus standing lenticular forms that birthed me. Incidentally dear, on a less grandiose note, you may now rearrange our NetFlix cue, though for the life of me I don’t know why you’d want to watch ‘Finnegan, Begin Again.’ See you on the other side sweetie. Wear a tie so I‘ll know you.”

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Einsteinsteinstein: Bonus Material, Outtakes, Edits and Alternate Versions

Flatiron Bldg NYC

Flatiron Bldg NYC 1903. This photo is provided as a diversion for an audience that can only take so much HTML. In 1916 the Flatiron Building hit puberty and has since been referred to as The Sweater Girl Building. Sadly, despite several recent collagen treatments, cracks are beginning to appear in her facade.

The following are ideas, half-baked notions and alternate takes that didn’t make it into the Einstein Story:

Attends gay rodeo where he has another superlative insight no one else had thought of. Looking beyond the superficial he realizes it’s the animals and not the cowboys who are gay.

For a more complete understanding I suggest hallucinogenics. Kepler observations

coined the term “prosthetic intelligence” when it comes to

Yes. I hope to be reincarnated as a bookstore kitty.

Put me in coach, although I’d prefer 1st class

Her Lesbianic protestations and homosexual perturbations notwithstanding, Lois Catwalk had a kind of apple cheeked, girl next door attitude…if you were living next door to a Lipstick Lesbian Habitat.

The Curved Back in on Itself Ending

So yes he’s a brilliant savant and yes we’re in awe of the éclat with which he conjures and expresses our universal blueprint. He’s fun to praise, but note this quotation he ascribed to his fame vs. accomplishment- “the contrast between the popular estimate of my powers and achievements, and the reality is simply grotesque.” False modesty? Perhaps, but as one examine his actions,  he enjoyed his celebrity but took no steps to either stanch it or capitalize on it. He simply let it run its course. , but parallel to all that was a man who had to spen his 76 year human life span on earth’s timeline because not only could he not physically approach the speed of light, he never got much past 4 mph. He did his work and played his role of the absent-minded professor. And after 2 wives and 3 citizenships he still couldn’t remember to wear socks. Simultaneity

AE. Shines flashlight at Jack & Jill. Fetches a pail of water. By the time he gets it home the water is holding the pail.

Some of these professors you point, and they only look at the end of your finger

The most distant object in the universe was his father

Can you imagine the earth getting larger so the equator no longer fits around it.

In antiquity due to the lack of mirrors, people didn’t really know what they looked like.

Boon companion Read the rest of this entry »