Archive for May, 2013

I Sing of Susan Sontag*

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Consciousness harnessed to flesh. Sontag's all that.

Consciousness harnessed to flesh. Sontag’s all that.


So what if her last name seems to have letters missing. Who cares if, in Camille Paglia’s words, her “cool exile” from feminism left the movement bereft. Susan Sontag’s incisive perspicacity and ability to effectively write down things she was thinking about, made her a celebrated cultural icon and a stentorian literary maven amongst the tight circle of bookish intellects she moved in. Never one to be confused with a dilettante, her body of work is an eminent standard by which modern literary criticism is judged. She may appeal to a select few and that’s probably why you’ve stopped reading by now. However, Ms. Sontag is abundantly worthy of exploration and it is my peculiar curiosity in her body…of work, that prompts this essay. In other words, how does someone get like this? Are they born this way or do they choose to be a non-practicing Jewish, left wing, bisexual, cultural barometer capable of devastating and discerning prose? We can explore this together or you could go back and reclick on the article “Home Schooled Student Expelled for Sleeping with his Teacher.” So what? Little Timmy was 6 years old and had a nightmare. Forgive him for crawling in bed with his mommy. Read the rest of this entry »


Confidence becomes me?

Confidence becomes me?

It is often said, “You can’t worry about things you have no control over.”

And that’s always bothered me. No control? I not only want my world controllable, I want it perfected. Forget politics. Let’s start a grass roots movement to promote controllability. Not just for my world, but for every….nah, just for my world. Everyone else’s world will work out just fine if mine is perfected. I mean you can’t just press the pads of your fingertips together and say, “Look everybody, I’m exuding confidence.”

The truth is; worrying has its place. It keeps us vigilant and aware of avoidable pitfalls. Like anything else though worrying can be carried too far. Then again, the distance you carry it away must be at least far enough to prevent the thing from happening you’re worried about occurring in the first place.        Me like writing. Read the rest of this entry »

Thou Shalt Not Limit Consumer Choice

Steve Martin: Man of many molecules.

Steve Martin: Man of many molecules.

Back in his stand up days, Steve Martin would often sidle up to the microphone in that manner we all liked to imitate, and glibly announce to the crowd, “I don’t generally like to gear my material to the audience.” He could afford to say that. He had a following and fans understood his comedic vocabulary. As for me, I just hope you understand the abstruse arcana of my vocabulary. Heck, I hope I can. Verbal chaff can mask a thousand imperfections, just like butter or college does, but it can’t hide the dry rot of inconsequential ideas. For example, in answer to the burning question on everyone’s mind – It was me. I let the dogs out. Read the rest of this entry »

Suicide Balloon Animal Self-Detonates in Crowded Menagerie

Balloon animal explodes, terrorizing Quincy Market. Creator says it's all a misunderstanding.

Balloon animal goes boom at Quincy Market. Random event or part of a greater menace?

2 Horseys Missing and Presumed Popped

Giraffe’s Lost Limbs Quickly Reattached

Little Brittany in Tears


Boston 5/4/13 – A self-radicalized balloon animal blew himself up at Quincy Market on Saturday, causing a millisecond of panic amongst bomb-sensitive Bostonians who collectively flinched at the report of a piercing thunderclap emitted by the suicide ballooner. The 2 foot long dachshund took with him 2 multi-colored horseys as well as briefly popping off the gangly legs of a nearby Shi’ite giraffe. The giraffe was quickly repaired and released into the protective custody of Sara Shanahan whose father paid $5 for the privilege. Read the rest of this entry »