Archive for May, 2026

1. My dentist is so judgmental. He told me, “You made a very bad first impression with us. Try making a better second impression. By biting down harder.”
2. Don’t you find it odd that your procrastinator’s office has only waiting rooms and that he’s making appointments 13 years out? Let that sink in.
3. If a Kohler wash basin comes knocking at your door….let that sink in
4. The Titanic was struck by an iceberg. It flooded and they had no choice but to, let that sink in.
5. I want you to really apply yourself and carefully coordinate things. Y’know, let that sync in.
6. I really am the Eggman – all egg white. And that’s no yolk.
7. Do you want to go to the Gay Rodeo? And for context, I should mention it’s the animals and not the cowboys who are gay – don’t ask me how they know.
8. The famous 1920’s evangelist was not named Amy Sample She was Amy Semple MacPherson. In this simple example, Sample is Semple.
9. I know an archer who had such bad aim, he couldn’t shoot the breeze if he tried
10. I know a player who was very unsuccessful in hitting on women. He couldn’t hit the broad side of a broad
11. And yes, I realize that Napoleon Bonaparte is not germane to this discussion. How could he be germane? He’s French.