Posts Tagged ‘religion’

Bulleted Notes on Things Kinda Religious

Ah swet bulet points. Creating the illusion of Ο Order Ο Harmony Ο Linear Perfection Tidy little bullet points. Creating an illusion of:
Ο Order
Ο Harmony
Ο Linear Perfection

Ο

Ο     

Ο     The sweet adage “Make love, not war” has been dismissed as an impractical pipe dream, but it does beg the question: Would we rather be at each other’s throats, or at each other’s gonads? And as I look around at my fellow man I think the answer is obvious. War it is!

Ο     It is often remarked by Culinary Anthropologists that some under-served populations do not have easy access to nutritious and affordable food. This condition is known as living in a food desert. For research-funding purposes however, this “condition” is sometimes rebranded as a “Food Desert Syndrome” – syndrome being a weighty term used by professors to in elevate “crappy grocery stores” to a social calamity so significant that they qualify for a National Science Foundation grant and can earn a 6-month sabbatical to study this self-created geography. Read the rest of this entry »

A Modest Proposal

Best seats in the house for free can't stem the tide of fan apathy. Above: The faithful showing up in drove for Sunday services. Best Seats in the House for Free Can’t Stem the Tide of Fan Apathy. Above: The faithful showing up in drove for Sunday services. But wait! There’s hope.

Including the NFL, there are almost 1200 religions in the world. And except for the NFL, all are having difficulty filling their stadiums as disenchanted fans abandon their seats for more secular pursuits. Religions  are competing for an ever dwindling number of newcomers and are having a tough time with their sales pitch as potential recruits demand more than vague promises of security and rapture:

“The truth is ours,” says the Mennonite. And we immediately think, “Isn’t mennonite an element in the Periodic Table?”

“We desire nothing,” peaceably declares the Buddhist beautifully attracting us with their completion backwards principle.

“I am infallible.” The Pope decrees. And we immediately think, “That’s nice Mr. Pope, but I’m due back on the planet earth now.”

“Why am I even in this conversation,” sayeth the atheist. Read the rest of this entry »