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THINGS I’LL NEVER FORGET

David Hardiman — Wed, 12 Jun 2024 01:59:07 +0000

1. Watching Babe Ruth’s home run trot around the bases and wondering how his tiny little ankles didn’t break under the strain of his hulking torso 2. Where I was when I first heard the word “delicatessen.” I know. You too, right. And then I found out you could actually shorten it to “deli.” Wow! […]

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Alright! We Get It.

David Hardiman — Sun, 17 Mar 2024 22:29:00 +0000

You Never Have to Tell Us Again We no longer need to be reminded that “X” was formerly known as Twitter I’m not concerned if the book I’m reading was printed on equipment used in processing tree nuts Conversely you never needed to change Datsun to Nissan, Bombay to Mumbai or Betty Persky to Lauren […]

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Mail You Never, Ever Have to Open

David Hardiman — Fri, 23 Jun 2023 03:30:23 +0000

If a letter makes it to your mailbox with any of the following phrases, acronyms or hieroglyphs on it, you may send this JUNK straight to recycle: ECRLOT – ECRLOT stands for Enhanced Carrier Route Line Of Travel. This is an internal code used by the USPS and designates a discounted postal rate for junk […]

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Books That Should Never Have Been Published

David Hardiman — Wed, 13 Jan 2021 07:10:53 +0000

50 Shades of Windows: The X-Rated Microsoft Office Story You Wouldn’t Know a Left Hook if It Hit You in the Face…and other Non-Sequiturs “You are what your record says you are”: The Collected Wisdom of Coach William Parcells Servant Gossip: How Laundry Hampers Hamper Help from Airing Their Dirty Laundry The Sequel to “How […]

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Bucket List…in Reverse: Things I NEVER Hope to Do Before I Die

David Hardiman — Sun, 15 Nov 2020 18:06:43 +0000

The phrase “I Hope Never To” should be repeated before each entry Hear my doctor say “Don’t worry. It’s the good kind of” anything Get confused when baking a flourless cake in the shape of a flower Hear the captain say, “We’ve all made our peace with the Almighty up here on the flight deck. […]

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