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Wills of Note

David Hardiman — Sat, 07 Oct 2023 05:24:13 +0000

Over the course of time there has been a need to stipulate the manner in which a future deceased person (the soon dead) shall distribute their worldly possessions. It has not been without its peculiarities. Here is a sample of some of the more unique bequests directed by individual estates: Little Miss Muffet – Left […]

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NDEs (Near Death Experiences) and Other Easily Understood Stuff

David Hardiman — Wed, 30 Nov 2022 04:57:04 +0000

Perhaps the fastest (though not the pleasantest) way to journey to the “other side” is via an NDE or Near Death Experience. NDEs are a transformative event where the souls of temporarily flatlined stiffs leave their bodies, behold otherworldly dimensions and then are miraculously ushered back to their once lifeless bodies. Some say an NDE […]

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Strange Causes of Death as Seen on 19/19 (I mean 20/20)

David Hardiman — Sat, 19 Nov 2022 17:16:14 +0000

Wilma Cantwell groaned to death after reading my pun: “I was going to write this list in Times New Roman font, but it’s really not my type.” In Compton, Dylan Barrett Browning was crushed to death in a vicious drive-by poetry slam. Investigators say there was no rhyme or reason to it. Swami Baba Ganouj […]

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Uncommon Causes of Death

David Hardiman — Tue, 23 Feb 2021 18:27:12 +0000

Discovering too late, that what you thought would “make you stronger,” actually killed you Cleaning the leaves from your gutter and getting hit by debris from a Boeing 777 engine Asking Chuck Norris which of the LGBTQ letters he most closely identifies with Eating 3 consecutive meals at any restaurant featured on “Diners, Drive-ins and […]

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Epitaphs in the Cemetery for the Terminally Ironic

David Hardiman — Wed, 22 Feb 2017 09:52:20 +0000

They cremated me and now I’m such an ash. Why does this coffin have cup holders and an air bag? Hey wait a minute. They buried me in my car! Is it me or are you really that tall? That Melissa McCarthy kills me. I’m serious. She murdered me. Get her. […]

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GraveEncounters.com Presents: Personal Ads for Dead People

David Hardiman — Wed, 15 Feb 2017 04:56:38 +0000

The matchmakers at GraveEncounters.com have created a corpse-friendly website for those dearly departed souls who are looking for love in the Afterlife. The graveyard has long been a dormant market for swinging singles, but with GraveEncounters.com’s patented NecroLink bandwidth and Blacktooth technology, the recently deceased can now pursue an affair of the heart long after theirs […]

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Death and Other Grave Situations

David Hardiman — Wed, 05 Oct 2016 04:21:21 +0000

Growing old is a contradiction in terms. It’s more like “shrinking” old. Aging is like doing the bad kind of pucker-up. But before I pile on and make growing old sound like a death sentence (which it is), let’s remember it’s perfectly natural and obviously part of our architecture. Reaching one’s expiration date might seem […]

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A Seriously Humorous Look at the Upside of Dying

David Hardiman — Mon, 22 Aug 2016 19:13:11 +0000

Professional sports leagues provide the best euphemisms for those souls who’ve dearly departed the playing field. For example, the NFL describes death as being placed on the “Permanently Unable to Perform List.” If you do not go gently into that good night, Major League Baseball will put you on the “Involuntary Retirement List.” And to […]

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