What Fetlocks! That’s actually the name of the horse. As in, “Gimme $10 on ‘What Fetlocks!’ to win in the 2nd at Acqueduct.”

Calvin Posterity was often jailed for being a habitual public nuisance. Although well into his 30’s, he practiced brilliant adolescent mischief: In the middle of the night he’d park his 1978 Subaru Brat near a remote photo enforced intersection, take out his two-wheeled scooter, put on his helmet, take off his clothes and repeatedly glide through the intersection buck naked against the red light. He sometimes tripped the photo flash upwards of 30 times. Of course in the morning the city’s director of traffic violations would be swamped with naked pictures of a very Caucasian Calvin scooting through the intersection wearing only a dangling participle where usually a hood ornament was located. After being identified in a below the waist line up by his urologist, Calvin admitted to the prank stating, “I only did it for the exposure.” A mind capable of such life affirming disobedience on the asphalt was also unmatched in generating joyous chaos on parchment. In his letters he produced brilliant mischief once again with the aid of the more traditionl dangling participle. As in; After a thorough whipping, the chef folded the eggs into the batter. Calvin’s probation officer supervises his court imposed community service which is to reprint the many zany, kooky and otherwise incoherent letters written for posterity by Posterity.