This Day in Future History

On November 8th, 2032 another bush is elected President. This time it’s Chelsea Clinton. 

The 2041 Lincoln Assassinator voted “Car of the Year” by the National Towing Association

Pope’s wife doesn’t have rhythm. Must find new method.

Font problems doom Micronesia

Haiku!  Gesundheit.

Writers of Frequently Asked Questions are educated at FAQ U.

Fan catches baseball in stands. Foul play suspected.

Sue Nami catches huge wave with chicken. Fowl play suspected.

Dan Quayle gobbles turkey burger. Fowl play Wottles away.

Queen Elizabeth lands part of mother in “Psycho V.”

Answer: Gesundheit.       Question: At what altitude do Gesunds fly at?

Mitt Romney’s corpse exhumed. Coroner says he’s still “handsome as hell.”

Stream of consciousness babbles like a brook and is beginning to creek.

Handyman’s last words: “I told you already. The circuit breaker is turned off.” 

We must exercise our Free Will. We have no choice.

Fidel Castro to US: “Guerra! Guerra!! Guerra!!!” US to Castro: “You guys have like no cooking oil.”

God confides to rodents: “Humans seem to be missing the point entirely.” (I got this information from my mole.)

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