Top 23 Benefits of Stowing Away in the Nose Gear of a Boeing 767

1. Arrive refreshed and unconscious

Route supposedly taken by stowaway.
Route supposedly taken by stowaway.

 2. Avoid the “busy hands” of frisky TSA agents

3. Finally understand the adage: That which does not freeze me, only makes me colder.

4. Can congregate in front of landing strut without being told to return to seat

5. Great way to earn Frequent Dier Miles

6. Get to board plane before those snooty Platinum Club members

7. Can’t beat the cushy oversized rubbery seat

8. Don’t have to listen to know-it-all guy next to you go on and on about how, ”On a BTU for BTU basis, propane gas is your best value.”

9. 5 hour trip seems like 10 minutes because you were unconscious for 4 hours and 50 minutes

10. Because there is no oxygen, you never have to worry about placing margarine cup over mouth and “breathing normally.”

11. Private compartment kept at a constant temperature of -48

12. Without the prying eyes of passengers, can join the mile high club when you’re ready

13. Freedom to get up and move about the wheel well whenever you want

14. No line for the bathroom

15. You’re pretty much guaranteed that no one has ever farted in your seat

16. Get same inflight meal as everyone else

17. Unforgettable way to show parents who’s wrong and who’s right

18. Can talk with homies on cell phone without getting arrested by Air Marshall.

19. Mechanics usually leave bottle of Jack Daniels hidden in hydraulic reservoir

20. The media will demand to know more. You’ll be famous.

21. Carry on as much luggage as you can fit in your pockets

22. Get to fly in front of plane near First Class

And the best benefit in flying in the nose gear of a Boeing 767:

     23. It still beats taking the bus

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