BRAINDRUFF
April 9th, 2023 | 
Author: 1. What do you call many dams built in a stream? —- Brook Shields
2. I think Nostril Shaming will be the next body image attack so try to be nostril positive.
3. If Iowa died, would it lie in state?
4. If a George Santos died, would he just continue to lie.
5. When urinals were installed in early movie theaters, that began the first streaming service. Did this streaming service work? – Depends.
6. The word “oodles” is tragically underused
7. If you want to sound like Elmer Fudd, instead of pronouncing it “tragically” pronounce it “twagicwee”
8. Johnny is “actose intolerant.” He avoids mik.
9. I can’t honestly say “I am.” I’m just Am-ish
10. Cher (76) just married a man young enough (36) to be her grandson. No problem though, since he identifies as a geriatric and she identifies as a crisis.
11. Denali is not just a mountain in Alaska. No wait. That’s de Nile.
12. Does the water from my refrigerator really need to be filtered. Wouldn’t it be just like drinking from the tap? Those pricey filters are just a profit center for LG, like printer cartridges are for HP. I’m calling BS on LG and HP.
13. What the hell is a “normal school”?
14. I eat the cookies in my computer. Byte by byte.
15. Horses are always in their hay day
16. Is a hippocampus a place where hippos go to school?
17. In Tom Cruise, Hollywood has made a mountain out of a mogul
18. The creator of a shop that welded metal flounder for displays was losing money. Headline in the paper read: Founder of Flounder Foundry Floundering. The whole thing was kinda (let’s say it together) “Fishy.” If he was an artist the whole thing would’ve been kinda “sketchy.”
19. Same day a midget clairvoyant escaped from jail. Headline in paper read: Small Medium at Large.
20. His goal was rather underwhelming. He wanted to be placed on administrative leave, while under house arrest.
21. I came close to having one of those Near-Death Experiences. But it was just a near Near-Death Experience.
22. Did you know that in Australia, the export of sheep is a cash cow
23. And remember, despite all the troubles in the world: Don’t sweat the onions – It’s all onions.
24. That’s it for now. Bye bye. Or as they say in Tinsel Town: Oodles of toodles to you.
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