Posts Tagged ‘cannon’
When saintly Father Mulligan was canonized by the Catholic Church in 1991, all agreed he made the funniest looking cannon you ever saw. He wasn’t too happy about being a cannon either and hardly viewed canonization as a reward for years of dedicated pastoral service. It was preferable to the old days of enshrinement when the church would catapultize high performing priests. In later years they’d even bazookaize MVPs, so he breathed easier with simple canonization. What did he do to earn this place of honor? Well, according to the Catholic Hall of Fame Committee he was responsible for 3 miracles:
1. Somehow he got the roof repaired at St. Anthony’s without a donation drive
2. He is credited with preventing the Great Chicago Flood of 1964. That’s why you’ve never heard of it either.
3. And against impossible odds, he found a way for Michael Jackson to impregnate an actual female Read the rest of this entry »