Posts Tagged ‘eat’

On Eating Tide Pods: What Americans are Saying

  1.  I like mine with a Downy Fabric Softener chaser

    Way better than candy corn, these colorful chemical compounds get your bowels surprisingly clean. Now with lemon-freshened phosphates.

  2. Beats eating clumping cat litter – that’s really stupid.
  3. Looks good on a resume: if you’re trying to get into a loony bin.
  4. Allowed me to say to my girlfriend, “Yeah, well who’s cool now?”
  5. It’s financially rewarding. I won a $20 bar bet. So what if it cost $3400 in emergency room bills. 
  6. 4 out of 5 dentists agree: It is the cheapest way to whiten your teeth. (the 5th one recommends brushing with bleach).
  7. Who needs Mentos and Coke when you’ve got Tide Pods?
  8. Some see deadly chemical compounds. I see bright and shiny Halloween candy.
  9. After eating one I like to get very agitated. That way you can really work it through your system.
  10. When all is eaten and done, at least you get a free anal bleaching. It left my poop chute sparklingly clean and daisy fresh…from what I was told. 
  11. Proctor & Gamble has had Tide Pods designated as a vegetable and therefore eligible for school lunches programs
  12. What better way to tell the world you’re a certifiable moron.
  13. Nutritionist warn it’s not a good idea to eat Tide Pods, however they do agree it’s a good source of dietary borax.
  14. From Young Sheldon: How can you not deny the pleasure of ingesting non-ionic surfactants?