Posts Tagged ‘holland’

Today’s Bewilderment

The country of Holland is called the Netherlands and yet its people are called the Dutch. I guess 500 years of wearing wooden shoes will cause splinter groups.

They have a city called “The Hague.” No city should begin with the word “The.” OK, maybe The Big Apple – but you can’t look up “The Big Apple” on a map.

Can’t Dutch this.

Audience: Thanks Dave. That’s really more than we need to know.

Me: You’re welcome, however, I’m not done yet. And then in the adjacent country of Belgium, there’s an area called Flanders, and the people who live there are Flemish – they’re always blowing their noses. They’re also Dutch. Not only are they confused, but they’re covered in mucous.

And don’t get me started on Luxembourg, the last of these elfin kingdoms that comprise the Benelux triumvirate. What do you call these people? – Luxembourgers? Yes you do. I’ll have mine with a slice of Gouda.

This is how America would’ve developed had not Hamilton, Madison, Jay and others promulgated a federal constitution with a strong central government. You’d need a passport to drive from the nation of Georgia to the nation of South Carolina. Thank you Mr. Hamilton. Maybe someday you’ll be celebrated with a lavish Broadway musical.

Then again America is called the United States and its people are called Yankees.

In my next essay I examine whether imaginary lines should be made real.