kombucha | davidhardiman.com

My Letter to the New York Times

August 12th, 2021 |

after drinking way too much moonshine Kombucha. It’s in response to an article and video about Sarah Silverman Guest Hosting the Jimmy Kimmel Show and the letter goes like this – to the letter:

Hey NYT. Fit this to print,

My belligerency quotient is rising, but don’t worry. I’m still lovable.

I’ve been, for reasons unknown to me (and maybe it’s the kombucha talkin’), a little predisposed against Sarah Silverman. Maybe it’s her whoopsie-daisy tartness (a borrowed line). But I now find her funny, witty, present and confidently reactive – a thoroughly Modern Millie. Good for me. Wow, I can reassess and enjoy something I previously did not. Tremendous personal growth on my part. I’m to be congratulated, he said, soaking in the adulation from himself.

That Jimmy Kimmel allows guest hosts (and by an ex to boot) is a tribute to the show and his self-confidence in himself (if it’s in himself I guess that’s why they call it “self” confidence). It’s like the olden days when Johnny Carson had guest hosts so you could sample other entertainers. Feeling uninhibited and acting self-consciously is the best combination, don’t you think?

Based on this video. I’ll be taping the rest of her shows. I know, I said taping and not recording. SS is giving me a contact funny. She’s like a Gummy Silverman. Oh, how I love this world and everything in it, that I can afford. I just gotta say though, how things would be different if Ariana Grande was Venti. She’d be a Tall drink of coffee then.

So much more to say. You don’t need to hear it though. Alright. OK one more thiing (I know I misspelled “thing”); I actually made money from a Nigerian prince who was trying to scam me. Say my name Prince Djibouti.

And finally, I’d like to thank Pfizer pfor pfostering epffective farmaceuticals. And I know I spelled farmaceuticals wrong.

Best Moonshine Kombucha Ever,

David Silverman (no relashun) and I know I spelled somethang wrong, but I don’t care write now Mr. New York Times.

[ps: I really did send this to the NYTs]