Posts Tagged ‘methuselah’
He’s So Old…
November 24th, 2025 | 
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The Ghost of Watches Past
1. He threw rice at Adam & Eve’s wedding
2. He’s covered his ears when the Big Bang happened
3. He remembers when Alec Baldwin was still good-looking
4. He called Jesus Christ by his middle name “H”
5. He remembers when stardust first began coalescing into Steven Jobs
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He’s So Old…
6. He remembers when the moon was inhabited
7. He remembers a less vulgar time, before people started naming things like Sperm Whales, Uranus, Lake Titicaca and Pupu Platters
8. He remembers a time before Starbucks said, “What can I get started for you?”
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He’s So Old
9. As a boy he had a well-trained pet dinosaur who scratched at the door if needed to go out
9. He called Methuselah, Sonny
10. He remembers the the first Y2K crisis. Going from 2000 BC to 1999 BC. Worries abounded: Would the Pyramids crumble? Was Jesus still planning on showing up in 2000 years? Was gravity still going to work? Would there ever be anything fun to eat instead of this boring Mediterranean Diet?
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