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Things I No Longer Need to Be Reminded Of

1. That smoking is not allowed on airplanes, or in the lavatories. You may however, vape on the wings.
2. That occasionally, your spouse can be used as a flotation device.
3. That Twitter is now known as X. As in it’s an ex-useful platform.
4. That if I’m experiencing a medical emergency I should hang up and call Dr. Rick from Progressive Insurance
5. That too many “that’s” spoil a list and that’s that.
6. That there is no #6, and stop reminding me of that.
7. That “Too many cooks spoil the moth.” Fortunately cooks rarely prepare moth dishes. Maybe Buffalo Moth Wings, but that’s about it.
8. That Quinn Martin and Jack Webb were cut from the same cloth (that esoteric joke was for my own pleasure. I’m such a selfish sh*t)
9. That Sonny and Cher won’t be getting back together. At least not until Cher dies (I know…Boo)
10. That I won’t be getting back together. At least not until a few more sessions with my psychiatrist.
11. There is no #11. I mean there is a number 11, but just not in this list.
SOS: And if you can hear me Taylor, call me when Travis isn’t around. I’ve got news about Publisher’s Clearinghouse Sweepstakes. Big News!