steal |

Posts Tagged ‘steal’

My Perfect Crime Revealed 43 Years after the Deed is Done

43 years of indigestion neutralized in one bite.

One bite of this forbidden hot dog and I’ve had 43 years of indigestion. I finally found the antidote.

Why would I reveal a perfectly executed petit larceny committed at the tender age of 12 while working the portable hot dog stand at our end of year elementary school celebration? Because I want to redeem myself for my wretchedness. I’m not confessing so much to exorcise my demons, as I am taking the advice of the band Heart, who encouraged us to “♫Even it up, even it up, even it up♫.”

It is often said that justice delayed is justice denied. And that may be the case in this instance. But what choice do I have in correcting something 43 years after the fact? I’m just trying to restore things to their original equilibrium and this self-correcting expose is as good a starting point as any. Perhaps my bite-sized, youthful indiscretion can be remedied with the same ease in which it was committed. I sure hope so. When it comes to appeasing the exacting justice of the Lord of Karma I hedge my bets. For example, I donate to a couple of food banks and I’ve always made a point to tip 20% even when the service was only 15% worthy. In this particular case I’m attempting to “unscrew” something I so blithely screwed-up in the first place. Read the rest of this entry »