The American Kennel Club Recognizes 21 New Breeds

  1. Yorkshire Terrorist – Won’t stop yapping till they get their wet food
  2. She Wow Wow – Sofia Vergara-influenced breed

    Dont raise your eyebrows at me. Don’t raise your eyebrows at me.

  3. Lhasa Ipso Facto – Asian lawyers’ favorite dog
  4. Angela Basset Hound – Ike Turner had something to do with its creation
  5. Alaskan Mostlymute – Rarely barks
  6. Uaintnuthin’butta Hound Dog – Found mostly in the South, Cryin’ all the time
  7. Teacup St. Bernard – A contradiction in terms. Like jumbo shrimp.
  8. Borderline Collie – Not quite a Collie, but close
  9. Cocker Doodle Doo – Howls when the sun comes up
  10. Chilean Sea Basset Hound – A sub-species of Dogfish. Sleeps on a bed of spinach.
  11. Greenish Retriever – Not quite green, looks seasick, recycles
  12. Nissan – Formerly Dachsund (Get it? Datsun became Nissan)
  13. Hairless Sheep Dog – A frightening-looking animal. At least it doesn’t shed.
  14. Mess Hall Chow – Featuring its trademark Blue Tongue Special
  15. Belgian Airhead – (courtesy of Steve Martin)
  16. Random Doodle – exists only on paper and, fittingly, does it on the paper
  17. Jewish Shepherd – Enjoys Flocks and Bagels
  18. Not-so-Great Dane – Underachieving Scandinavian canine.
  19. Shih Tzu! – God Bless You.
  20. Nikita – Nike’s corporate repurposing of the Akita breed. All Nikitas are named Swoosh.
  21. Miniature Toy Chihuahua – Due to size challenges, must be raised under an electron microscope

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