What is this a countdown: 20,19,18,17 etc.

As the New Year dawns I feel I must inform my friends of the resolution I’ve made – and no, it’s not the sexual reassignment surgery. The reports of my gender dysphoria have been greatly exaggerated.

No, this New Year I resolve not to be funny anymore. For some, like Dana and Sandy, who never got my humor to begin with, there’ll be no change. For others, who tolerated my humor with an easily maintained stiff upper lip, it will be a welcomed relief. And finally for those whose daily moods rise and fall on the analgesic potency of my so-called humor, well, we’ll always have 2018.

So here’s to promoting an Equilibrious New Year to everyone, everywhere. Let us carry on smartly, stoically and soberly.

Perhaps next year when it’s 2020 we’ll have a clearer vision of things. 

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