You won’t get this. You shouldn’t get this. For sure you’ll never quite understand this actual response to a friend’s email that included requested pictures of his 2^nd floor garage winch (like a dumbwaiter) suitable for elevating heavy items to the loft and his recently purchased battered and used commercial GMC truck replete with utility boxes. My friend’s nickname is Dickie which has morphed into Diggie. He has a brother named Ted. There’s no tea in this missive, but maybe you can read the tea leaves and appreciate the algae bloom of ideas and references barely tethered to Earth. I know I enjoyed channeling them. This email was written and sent in one long unedited session on Oct. 11, 2023 (I think it was AD). Below is a copy for your delectation:

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Very cool stuff Diggie. 

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It would be nice to be you if it weren’t so wonderful being me.

That is the stupidest waiter I’ve ever seen and the truck w/the built-in tool boxes…boffo my man. Livin’ the blue-collar fantasy.

Good cool shit to have (I mean since we must have stuff). 

Appreciate the Hynde reference bigly. Was thinking of reminding you of same in our last phone tete á tete. BTW when you speak to your brother is it tete á Ted?

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As Mostly,

Neils Bohr

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And when I say Neils Bohr, I’m referring to both Neils (Neil and Neil Bohr). The second Neil was the parasitic conjoined twin of Neil, whose elfin head grew from the scapula area of the more fully formed Neil who consequently wore big sweaters to disguise his freeloading brother. The more retail Neil, whose theories on quantum mechanics we’ve come to revere even if he is bohring, made no mention of the other Neil until his then girlfriend and future wife Margrethe said, “Ummm, Neil, we need to talk.”

Neils’s (pronounced Neilzes) parents thought, since the kids were basically one packet or quantum, why not give them one name in keeping with their unitized structure. Am told by disinterested parties, and hence reliable sources, that the back shoulder seemingly parasitic Neil Bohr was really the brains of the outfit. Host Neil would write his equations on a blackboard, turn around and lift up his sweater, then let parasitic Neil critique them. They made quite a team, 2 heads being better than one. In sum, I suppose this distinction doesn’t really anti-matter. 

I’d say more, but my Chipotle Ranch Dressing just expired. I really must be going. But where shall I go? So Bohring.  

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Best,

Charlies Chaplin

And when I say Charlie’s Chaplins, I’m referring to both Charlies (Charlie and Charlie Chaplin). Those little tramps.

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