1. He pronounces the “b” in dumb
2. He looks at the end of your finger when you point
3. He pronounces the “L” in Christmas even though there is no “L” in Christmas. I mean there is Noel in Christmas, it’s just that there’s no “L” in Christmas.
4. He thought the Bureau of Veterans’ Affairs was created to help servicemen cheat on their spouses.
5. He thinks the Surgeon General overreached when he warned against smoking cigarettes. He believes there’s no way cigarettes could cause all that coffin.
6. That sometimes he was, just whistlin’ Dixie
7. He thinks that if you press the Ctrl+Alt+Undo buttons, Microsoft Word will remove the last 10 minutes of your life
8. He adopted an all-office supply diet; where paper clips and sticky-notes were his staples
9. He spends time devising lists about imaginary dumb people. Hey, wait a minute…

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