1. Great Great Great Grandmothers’ Day – Not nearly as popular as Great Great Grandmothers’ Day
2. Amnesia Awareness Day – The day when you bring your amnesiac a bouquet of Forget-me-nots.
3. Indigenous Twinkies Day – Celebrates Native Twinkies that once inhabited grocery store shelves before waves of predatory Twinkies invaded our stores. This day is a time to reflect on the harsh methods employed by the Invasive Twinkies in oppressing the Indigenous Twinkies. It’s all part of the cross-disciplinary field known as Critical Twinkie Theory.
4. Doris Day Day – Sometimes combined with Susan Dey Day and Sandra Day O’Connor Day.
5. Baby Toe Appreciation Day – Why not give the l’il fellow a day of recognition to go wee wee wee all the way home?
6. Siamese Twins Separation Day – Traditionally celebrated with a banana split
7. Nostril Appreciation Day – Without these twin orifices we’d just be a bunch of mouth breathers.
8. Amtrak Appreciation Day – Who doesn’t appreciate train travel…everyone
9. Unrefrigerated Mayonnaise Day – A celebration of the brown-tipped edges of room temperature mayo. Usually sitting out on the counter next to the warm and very spreadable butter.
10. Root Canal Appreciation Day – AKA Masochist Celebration Day
11. Tony Danza Appreciation Day – I’d rather have Tony Danza and not need him, than not have Tony Danza and need him.

And Finally…

       Orgasm Appreciation Day – Isn’t it ironic that this Day only comes once a year?

Comments are closed.