I’ve Been Chased By:

I’ve Been Chased By:

-A Mecium. Actually it was a “pair a mecium.”
-A horse with no name. Yeah, that one.
-A horsefly named Pegasus. And up until then I’d never even seen a horse fly?
-A snail with no shell. I guess he was homeless.
-A beer. Actually it was a beer chaser.
-I once chased a chaste women. I caught her. We kissed. She’s no longer chaste.
-I once got chased by a seahorse who caught me down the back stretch. With his unruly hair over his eyes he couldn’t see well. Furlong.
-Casper chased me. And this was back when he wasn’t such a friendly ghost.
-An ant once chased me. And later an uncle.
-June Allyson once chased me wearing a really big Depends diaper. I asked her why she was chasing me and she said, “Because you’re too self-absorbed David.”
I said, “I’m too self-absorbed? You’re one to talk.”

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