1. The sound of a hummingbird that can’t quite find the tune
2. Gentle rain falling on a corpse (Once they tell you that, you can’t get it out of your head)
3. William Shatner singing the Beatles “Why………Don’t-We-Do-It-in-the-Road”
4. A recorded loop of “Please listen carefully as some of our menu items have changed.”
   

   Q. What’s your favorite color noise?
   A. White.

5. Another recorded loop of “No, YOU listen carefully. Nobody in their right mind had any of your stupid menu items memorized in the first place.”
6. The sound of watermelons dropped from the Leaning Tower of Pisa
7. A recording of the men’s bathroom stalls at Taco Bell after a biker rally
8. Repeated sound of a cat scrambling to escape a bathtub with only 2 inches of water in it
9. A symphony of leaf blowers playing “YMCA”

Maybe this list should be retitled: Annoying Sounds Keeping Me Up at Night

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