7. I’ve spent time looking for my glasses…while I’ve been wearing them
8. After I blow my nose I always look into the Kleenex to make sure I haven’t blown my brains out
9. I’ve wondered where my iPhone was…while It’s been in my hand
10. I don’t know how to number lists anymore

.

6. 

   Rodin’s “The Shamer”

   I don’t like nonsensical designer names, or names w/hyphens or one-word names or overly long names. I like plain, understandable American names, the way God meant them to be. Like Calvin Coolidge or Courtney Cox. That’s as exotic as a name needs to be. Except for Cher. I’m grandfathering her in. She and Jesus get to keep their one-word names.

.

5. In elementary school, if I was really hungry mid-morning, I occasionally pinched a sandwich from the brown baggers who’d stored their lunches safely in the cloak room. Usually Phillip Picciotti’s. His mom Alice made such a nice sandwich. Thanks Phil.

.

1. Believe me, my head is screwed on straight. It’s my body that’s crooked.
2. My world would be nothing, without the Undo button. Thank you Microsoft.
3. I wish I had something more enlightening to say about life. But I don’t right now. And I’m ashamed to admit it.

Comments are closed.