Sort of Lisping, Yet Short of Lisping
1. Physicist insists his wrist is twisted. “Nyet. It’s just a cyst that persists,” says fellow physicist Seth Sovich. “That’s the gist.”
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Lists I’d Like to See
1. A ship foundering at sea and listing heavily. Mostly Letterman Top 10 Lists and maybe a shopping list or To-Do list.
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Lisps I’d Like to Hear
1. I myth you (as said to any of the Greek Gods)
2. Q. What’s the differenths between a pith helmet and pith helmet?
A. If you don’t know the difference, urine trouble.
3. ♫Itsy bitsy teenie weenie yellow polka dot bikini♫ is my favorite thong.
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And finally, a colleague of mine has ascended to the highest office in the land. Bernie Schwartz now works on the 108th floor of the Sears Tower. It’s the highest office in the land. Yeth it ith.