1. 

   Brick and mortar books: More expensive, less convenient and just as satisfying as ebooks, audibles or kindles. Buy them anyway.

   Schizophrenia: Two Views

2. It’s Sheila: On Discovering the Name of the Horse You Rode through the Desert on. Y’know, the One You Thought Had No Name
3. Too Short for the Low-hanging Fruit: The Kevin Hart Story
4. Schoolroom Horror Avoided: My English Teacher Wants Me to Use “Intoxicants,” But Only in a Sentence. Phew!
5. Schoolroom Revelation: It’s Not the School I hate. It’s the Principal of the Thing
6. Why Can’t All Pools Just Be Heated for Christ’s Sake?
7. God’s Broken System of Reincarnation: On Coping with People Who Were Cows or Other Livestock in Their Last Lifetime.
8. Feelin’ Very Caucasian: The Mike Pence Story
9. You Can’t Get There from Here: On Pushing String and Planting Cut Flowers
10. “Ha Ha. Look Everybody. Breana Says She’s This Many Fingers”: Fighting Ageism in Toddlers
11. How My Sister and I Became Attached at the Hip: On Choosing to Become Conjoined Twins
12. Ice Cream Truck Jingles You Never Forget: Sweet Baby Jesus I Beg You, Get Them Out My Head!
13. Epileptic Fit Bit: Least Loved Wheel of Fortune “Before and Afters”
14. The Great American Navel
15. I’m So Dumb and I Don’t Even Know It: Admitting You’re Stupid is the First Step on the Road to Recovery
16. “Van Gogh”: What Babies Say When the Dodge Caravan Drives Away
17. Life: A Preexisting Condition Covered Only by the Sky
18. One Can + One Can = Toucan: The Story of Kellogg’s Froot Loops
19. “Cargo”: What Babies of Federal Express Employees Say When the Dodge Caravan Drives Away
20. Thinner: The David Hardiman Story
21. Thinner: What I Use to Dilute Oil-based Paints
22. Thinner: How People with Lisps Pronounce “sinner”
23. “Escargot”: What French Babies Say When the Dodge Caravan Drives Away

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