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You Haven’t Lived Until You’ve…

  1. ABBA, IKEA, SAAB – It’s all Swedish to me.

    Foamed a runway

  2. Played Liars Poker with George Santos
  3. Foamed Katy Perry
  4. Heard a Latin Pig grunt in Pig Latin, “nkoi-a, nkoi-a”
  5. Misspelled ABBA: AHBBHA
  6. Seeded a cloud with loose change just to watch it rain pennies from heaven
  7. Visit Michealangelo’s sculpture studio to see all the people he got stoned
  8. Gazed adoringly into your lover’s yearning eyes and breathlessly uttered, “Darling, my generals are writing checks, only your privates can cash”
  9. Looked into a mirror and seen the back of your head
  10. Removed (or implanted) an IUD in an elephant – hopefully a female elephant
  11. Foamed a latte, then swirled a portrait of Mike Pence onto it

 

And one more dastardly one that should never have crossed my mind:

  • You Haven’t Lived Until You’ve…Had your girlfriend pooh-pooh any talk of anal sex