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Random Things That are a Kinda Funny and Mildly Provocative

Conversations You Don’t Hear Anymore:

  1. Sea Captain: These dodo birds are delicious.

        First Mate:     Yeah, and there’s so many of them we’ll never run out.

 

  1. The Skipper: Hey little Buddy, maybe you should spend more time in my hammock.

       Gilligan:  No and Hell No. I hope I’m never shipwrecked on a deserted island with you. Oh wait…damn it.

 

  1. Are you still on the phone?
       No, you can use it now.

 

  1. Boy, my iron lung really gets in the way when we go camping.

 

  1. And when you meet Mr. Shakespeare, please, don’t call him Billy

 

  1. No one is going to want to pay extra for airbags.

 

  1. (Translated from Italian) Leonardo, there is no such thing as a heavier-than-air machine. That idea just won’t fly.

 

  1. There’ll be a Big Bang and galaxies will form and life will arise from a Primordial Soup and it’ll be so cool.

         OK, but what would be the purpose of it all?

 

  1. (Translated from Ectoplasm language) An amoeba feeling horny and coming on to itself: I’m up for a little mitosis. Are you? Let’s have a little fun and split.

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Addendumb

 Conjugating the Verb “Amtrak” and “Amish”

 

Standard English

I                 Amtrak                         I                 Amish

He/she       Istrak                            He/She         Isish

They          Aretrak                         They                  Areish