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London Subway: Defunct Tube Lines & Current Tube Stops

Early London Tube Routes No Longer in Use

  1. The Vacuum Tube – Antiquated route. Replaced by the Transistor Tube and eventually the Digital Highway
  2. The Fallopian Tube – AKA “The Tunnel of Love.” Getting there was half the fun and once there people didn’t want to leave
  3. The Test Tube – Never got beyond beta. They were always experimenting with this Tube.
  4. The Boob Tube – Fail. Riders watched it instead of riding it
  5. Like Totally Tubular Man – The fact that it was located in San Fernando Valley and not England had more to do with its demise than anything else

 

Notable Tube Stops

  1. Mattress Springs
  2. Gobsmack Wickets
  3. Poopchute Commons
  4. Hospital Corners
  5. Isle of View (AKA – I Love You)
  6. Sure Would Forest
  7. Minster
  8. West Minster
  9. Upper Minster
  10. Lower Minster
  11. Minster-upon-Minster
  12. Minster Minster Minster – Marcia Brady lived here briefly
  13. Minsterpool
  14. Minstershire
  15. Minsterham
  16. Shrinkage Flats
  17. Upper Lip
  18. Stiff Upper Lip
  19. Lifesasham
  20. Eden
  21. East of Eden
  22. Titwhistle Sound
  23. Spit-by-the-Sea
  24. Mucous Greens
  25. Paltrow Goop
  26. Cabbie Abbey
  27. UBER Abbey
  28. Abbey Road
  29. Bedlam
  30. Mayhem
  31. Bedham
  32. Maylem
  33. Maybe Bedlam, Maybe Mayhem
  34. Bridge-over-Troubled Waters
  35. Fancy That Guvnah
  36. East Fancy That Guvnah
  37. Cameltoe Arches
  38. Blossom Farts Hollow
  39. Stratford-upon-Avon – Home to Shakespeare
  40. Nose-upon-Face
  41. White-on-Rice
  42. Once-upon-Atime – Home to Fairytales
  43. Picklesworth
  44. East Picklesworth
  45. Slightly East, But More to the Northeast Without Actually Being In East Picklesworth Proper
  46. Nowhere Near Picklesworth, more Devonshire than Picklesworth
  47. Will You Forget Picklesworth Already This is Cavendish Forks
  48. Gherkinville
  49. 55 Miles Due East of Picklesworth
  50. Stink-on-Shite
  51. Paper Docks
  52. Shallowpool
  53. Humbug Station
  54. Scrooge Rectory
  55. Jesus, Will You Let It Go, You’re Not in Picklesworth Anymore and We’re Not Even Going to Picklesworth
  56. East Jesus, Will You Let It Go, You’re Not in Picklesworth Anymore and We’re Not Even Going to Picklesworth
  57. The Heights of Impropriety 
  58. Pissinboot Falls
  59. Prominent Flats
  60. Plain Commons
  61. Extraordinary Commons
  62. Dingleberry Farms
  63. Papist Trappings
  64. Texarkana – Who knew they’d have one too?
  65. Sticky Wicket Thickets