Things that Have a 0% Probability of Happening

1. Attending a Patti LaBelle concert and she does NOT perform “Lady Marmalade.”
2. Attending a Pointer Sisters concert and they do not perform “Jump.”
3. Attending a Van Halen concert and they do not perform “Jump.”
4. Attending a Cardi B concert.
5. Attending a Tom Petty concert (l know, too soon).
6. Cultivating and sustaining God consciousness while still in the human form. And yet Aunt Becky supposebly does, why I can’t? And I know, I said supposebly and “why I can’t.” It just proves my point.
7. Patti LaBelle’s dressing room having bowls of Funyuns.
8. Arriving at places early (I know, too soon).

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