We Secretly Asked 10 Retirees What Their Future Plans Were. One of Them Responded 3 Times. See If You Can Guess Which One.
Duh. Spend as much time as possible watching Hogan’s Heroes. There is no viable alternative. Achtung Baby!
- Sleeping. Napping. Sleeping some more. And then hibernating. In between go on “Pajama Week” binges in my new pillow top bed.
- Obey the folksy surety of Tom Selleck and get reverse mortgages on everything I own. Make Magnum Great Again.
- Pretend to be spending more time with my family, when I’m really spending all my reverse mortgage money at the Indian casino
- Visit car dealerships and do crossword puzzles in the backseat of a nifty showroom model, until they call security
- On second thought, not to spend most of my time watching Hogan’s Heroes, but to spend all of my time watching Hogan’s Heroes. The prisoners running the Camp?…crazy man.
- Visit the graves of Ben Matlock, Perry Mason and Colombo
- Start peppering my vocabulary with age-appropriate words like spry, good days and bad days, tinkering, guff, puttering, early bird specials and back in the day
- Obey Joe Namath and buy Supplemental Medicare Insurance for Part B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I-P and Z. Make Broadway Joe Great Again
- Forget what I said before. I look forward to moving into the light and irrevocably crossing over into a Hogan’s Heroes Heaven where everything goes right because nothing can go wrong.