Due to the Graphic Nature of This Piece Reader Discretion is Advised (not really)

 

I’m not exactly sure what they’re selling at Crazy, Sexy, Hot  drive-thru. I do know this much however:

1. It’s the first certified Crotch-to-Table restaurant in the United States.

 

2. As you exit the drive-thru a sign reads, “Thousands served; many to climax.”

 

3. All orders come with Wet-Naps and a lobster bib.

 

4. If they ask you, “Would you like that on the side?” say, “Duh?”

 

5. At some point all your car windows will steam-up.

 

6. If you order Fertile Fries, be sure to ask for spermicidal ketchup.

 

7. Be very careful answering the question: “Are you going to eat that in the car or will you be taking her home?”

 

8. Rumor has it the Dildo Burrito is filling. Very filling. Very, very filling.

 

9. It’s the only place you can get a toasted bagel with KY Jelly.

 

10. An old wives’ tale says that driving thru backwards can prevent pregnancy.

 

11. Interestingly, they have “Old Wives’ Tails” on the menu.

 

12. Employees say the pay isn’t very good, but that the tips are tremendous.