1. I’m so confused. The Temp Agency got me a permanent, parttime job at the Unemployment Office.
2. It is said that centuries ago when there were 2 Popes, they sometimes raced down the Nave to get to the pulpit first. Occasionally one Pope might cut off the other sparking a hellacious case of Pope Rage.
3. After taking way too many Southwest flights I tried to speak romantically to my wife. It didn’t go well: “I know you have choices when it comes to husbands and I really appreciate you flying David Hardiman. I was thinking maybe we could get my “tray table” in the upright and locked position before we take-off.”
4. Did you ever iron your money when giving it as a gift?    Yes, but just the change.  

5. I’m writing a new Vincent Van Gogh biography. It’s called “A Brush with Greatness.” I think you’ll find it kind of earry.
6. My proctologist says there’s a big difference between being involved in a morass and being involved in more ass. (Alright, that joke is not completely odorless. So sue me.)
7. Now you know. When a Sign Language Interpreter gets arthritis, they call it laryngitis.

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