1. 

   Bumper sticker seen at a Renaissance Faire.

   Make Sparta Great Again!

2. You Have to Admit, Vlad the Impaler does make some good points
3. Pyramids are for Squares
4. Serf Lives Matter
5. Sodom is for Lovers
6. If catapults are outlawed, only outlaws will have catapults
7. It’s all Olaf’s Fault
8. Eating Rotten Apples Contributes to Global Worming
9. I got my rocks off at Stonehenge
10. My other wagon is a Cadillac
11. OK Renaissance…we’re waiting.
12. Enough with the spices already. Maybe we could spend less than 95% of our GDP in the search for seasonings and invest a little in sewage control.
13. DaVinci Fondled Me. #Et tu Leonardo
14. Question Charlemagne
15. Robin Hood is a Socialist Income Redistributor
16. Galileo thinks He’s the center of the universe
17. I visited BarbarianLand. The happiest place on God’s flat Earth.
18. I got debauched at Pirates of the Mediterranean.
19. All We Are Say-ing, Is Give Huns a Chance
20. If blunderbusses are outlawed, only outlaws will have blunderbusses
21. I never sleep alone…thanks to my bedbugs
22. May your fireplace always be sooty and your stool forever compacted
23. Make Soap, Not War
24. We really need the soap, what with all the soot and everything
25. Occupy King John! You try eating turnips 11½ months out of the year. No more tubers…Magna Carta now!!!
26. Occupy Valhalla! It’s almost 1063 and to date only a total of 3 Vikings have had any fun at all. Being Norse sucks.
27. The Plague is Gods Way of Punishing Free Thinkers
28. Does the concept of “germs” mean anything to you Neanderthals?
29. If blow darts are outlawed, only outlaws will have blow darts
30. Pat Paulsen for President
31. A heavier than air machine? It’ll never fly.
32. Queen Elizabeth the 1^st is a Royal pain in the arse
33. Guillotine has lost his head
34. When it says Libbys Libbys Libbys on the label, label, label, you will like it, like it, like it on the table, table, table.

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