Archives

Little-Known Dwarfs Edited Out of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs Movie

  1. Gropey – This all-hands dwarf couldn’t stop touching his fellow actors and was #metoo-ed off the set
  2. Swiftie – This dwarf was always trying to shake it off
  3. Mucousy – A real drip. Usually found quarantining w/Sneezy.
  4. Phony – George Santos dressed as a dwarf
  5. Limey – An Englishman dwarf who developed scurvy
  6. Needy – A clinging little guy who suffered from abandonment issues
  7. Blitzen – One of Santa’s reindeer that briefly got mixed-up with the Dwarfs.
  8. Rashful – Poor little shy guy suffered from eczema
  9. Dock – This other “Doc” enjoyed boating and would never come to work
  10. Chang and Eng – Siamese dwarfs. Disney only paid them as one dwarf unit, but they demanded to be paid as 2 people even though they were attached at the hip. So they split – kinda.
  11. Alky – Always drunk on the set and was let go. Later got a job as a Munchkin.
  12. Specificity – He was punctilious, fastidious and precise. A real pain-in-the-ass.
  13. Homey the Dwarf – A little too hip for his own good. He had one of those overly elaborate hip-hop handshakes that went on for like 2 minutes.
  14. Stupido – An Italian version of Dopey. Always asking women, “Won’t you dunce with me?”
  15. Tom Cruise – C’mon, he’s not that little. Give him a break.
  16. Spacey – Smoked doobies on the set. Always forgot his lines. Very cool little person however and was the only one who could keep up  with Homey the Dwarf’s complicated 2-minute handshake.
  17. Hunky – A sexy dwarf fireman who had his own mini-calendar. Not so much beefcake as he was vealcake
  18. Dinky – Was TS (too small). Was actually a very rare “Toy Dwarf.”
  19. Boney – Appeared as a Mexican skeleton in one of those Día de Muertos scenes
  20. Snarky – It was one snide comment after another with Snarky. Would often remark to politically incorrect tall people that, “Hey, I can call us midgets, but you can’t call us midgets.”
  21. Filthy – Hygiene issues caused him to be escorted from the set. In later years, Filthy was the inspiration for Charles Schulz’s Peanuts character “Pig Pen.” He lived off those residuals for years. When asked what he thought of Filthy, Schulz remarked, “He stinks. Wonderfully.”

Comments are closed.