Vowel Movement – Grammarians recommend 2 to 3 compacted vowel movements a day
Chronic Consonant Crowding – To be found in the word shrimp or shrank: 6 letters, 5 consonants 83.3% consonant compliant. Also found in the word catchphrase which has a whopping 6 consecutive consonants – take that syzygy.
Pancreatic Fondling – Who doesn’t? Y’know, when you’re alone and no one’s watching
Spinal Men-in Black – Greatly preferred over Spinal Meningitis
Medium Pox – Get the Pox size that’s right for you!
Atrial Fluffernutter – A disease that’s close to my heart
Myocardial Infantilism – I don’t even know what I’m talking about here I just like to say “Myocardial Infantilism.”
Stereo-nucleosis – Again, it’s greatly preferred over Mono-nucleosis
Mono-Poly – A great way to mispronounce Monopoly. Mono-Poly: where the accent’s on fun.
Fractured Fairy Tales – Broke my heart to read them
One Toke Over the Lyme…disease – When life gives you limes, you make limeade?
Help! I’m Coming Apart at the Seams – Well then, you probably need a good screwing.
Ack Knee – Greatly preferred to acne
Dry Hump – Starts around puberty
Lymph Penis Syndrome – Starts around Social Security
Freudian Dandruff – A syndrome suffered by flakes
Freudian Girdle – Sorry, another Freudian reference – I must be slipping.
Chronic Freudian Reference Syndrome – A unique disorder manifested by writer’s with supreme intellijence.
Detached Attitude – Could care less about this condition
Arrested Leg Syndrome – Gotta walk the line otherwise you get the boot
Hepa-tight-ass – When you can’t tip more than 15%
Foot in Mouth Disease – When you tell the truth by accident
Writers’ Gaffe – When you tell the truth by accident