1. Longness of Breath – Why get caught short?
2. Acute Baby – It’s better than an ugly one
3. Vowel Movement – Grammarians recommend 2 to 3 compacted vowel movements a day
4. Chronic Consonant Crowding – To be found in the word shrimp or shrank: 6 letters, 5 consonants 83.3% consonant compliant. Also found in the word catchphrase which has a whopping 6 consecutive consonants – take that syzygy.
5. Pancreatic Fondling – Who doesn’t? Y’know, when you’re alone and no one’s watching
6. Spinal Men-in Black – Greatly preferred over Spinal Meningitis
7. Medium Pox – Get the Pox size that’s right for you!
8. Atrial Fluffernutter – A disease that’s close to my heart
9. Myocardial Infantilism – I don’t even know what I’m talking about here I just like to say “Myocardial Infantilism.”
10. Stereo-nucleosis – Again, it’s greatly preferred over Mono-nucleosis
11. Mono-Poly – A great way to mispronounce Monopoly. Mono-Poly: where the accent’s on fun.
12. Fractured Fairy Tales – Broke my heart to read them
13. One Toke Over the Lyme…disease – When life gives you limes, you make limeade?
14. Help! I’m Coming Apart at the Seams – Well then, you probably need a good screwing.
15. Ack Knee – Greatly preferred to acne
16. Dry Hump – Starts around puberty
17. Lymph Penis Syndrome – Starts around Social Security
18. Freudian Dandruff – A syndrome suffered by flakes
19. Freudian Girdle – Sorry, another Freudian reference – I must be slipping.
20. Chronic Freudian Reference Syndrome – A unique disorder manifested by writer’s with supreme intellijence.
21. Detached Attitude – Could care less about this condition
22. Arrested Leg Syndrome – Gotta walk the line otherwise you get the boot
23. Hepa-tight-ass – When you can’t tip more than 15%
24. Foot in Mouth Disease – When you tell the truth by accident
25. Writers’ Gaffe – When you tell the truth by accident
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