Posts Tagged ‘pie’

Pie-rotechnics

McDonald's Apple Pie filling circa. 1978. McDonald’s Apple Pie filling circa. 1978.

Remember those insanely hot deep-fried apple pies McDonald’s used to sell? The ones whose scalding apple lava filling was pumped directly from deep within the Earth’s core? Well I still have one I bought in 1978, and I plan on eating it just as soon as it cools down.  

McDonald’s claimed these pies were, “Just like momma used to bake.©” And it’s true, if momma had a PhD in Thermodynamics and a nuclear particle accelerator to heat the thing. Let me put it this way: These are the only pies ever made that had a half-life. MacDonald’s offered them in two flame throwing fillings: Apple McMagma and (during the St. Patrick’s holiday) Shamrock Napalm. As mentioned, I purchased my pie in 1978 for 45 cents and the return on investment has been phenomenal. Just by setting it in my furnace, I’ve managed to heat my entire house with it for over 30 years. The only downside has been the loss of all my hair – even there. Read the rest of this entry »