Posts Tagged ‘scouts’

Girl Scout Cookies Extortion Month

Well it’s that time of year again. No, not Amnesia Awareness Month, but Girl Scout Cookies Extortion Month, where citizens leaving grocery stores and banks are guilted into purchasing enough high-fructose cookies to power an aircraft carrier. There are some new varieties this year and I thought I’d highlight them for you:

  1. Binge Mints
  2. Heimlich Chokies
  3. Nutty Doofuses
  4. Transgendered Something er Others
  5. WMDs (Wafers of Mass Delight)
  6. Vegan Flytraps
  7. Lemon Nothings
  8. Extra-Gluten Peanut Clusters w/Benadryl
  9. Fracture Snaps
  10. Pralines ‘n Lint
  11. Snickernipples
  12. Whoopsie Daisies
  13. LGBTs (Loganberry Treats)
  14. Toucan Sandies
  15. Three Can Ednas
  16. Buttered Goobledygooks
  17. Sugar-free Why Bothers
  18. Upside-Down Right-Side-Ups
  19. Powdered Snowglobes
  20. Goiter Drops
  21. Tagalogs (Available in Philippines only)
  22. Forget-me-nuts
  23. Double Stuff Oreogasms  (Women may have as many as they’d like, but men must wait at least 1 hour between cookies.)
  24. Esophageal Conundrums
  25. Silicon Wafers
  26. Isaac Newtons