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What Is Going On Here?

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  1. I don’t know. I don’t want to know. Let’s just hope it’s consensual.
  2. It’s one of those English baking shows where they teach you how to use a rolling pin
  3. No money was exchanged, although a little later, phone numbers were exchanged
  4. Bottom guy to top guy: “Gees mister, your church sure has a weird way of praying. This is a church – right?”
  5. TSA “Pat Down” class…as taught by a substitute teacher
  6. This is from a Holistic Laxative Clinic where practitioners have found a kinder, gentler way to encourage movement. I’ve heard of “greasing the skids,” but this is ridiculous
  7. I think the guy on top is a recent immigrant who lives at the facility and owes traffickers thousands.
  8. Police Frisking Class: New method of ass-uaging the perpetrator
  9. That is one helluva suppository.
  10. Firemen getting in-service instruction in FST: Fart Suppression Training
  11. And in actuality it’s a pic from Syracuse University Football’s Strength & Conditioning operation

 It is what it is. Except when it’s not.

This is what it is? I don’t think so. My advice: Don’t settle. Go beyond so-called questioning authority. Be the answer and rest comfortably in knowing it’s never what you think it is.

We often rely on the bedrock cliché “It is what it is” to armor ourselves against IEDs – Idiotic Earthly Dilemmas. We need its unerring guidance to help us navigate through the mental minefield of wondering just what in tarnation is going on around here (italicized phrase should be read with a thick southern accent). To maintain some semblance of an equilibrium we humans need to be very accepting of our predicament and resorting to that age old explainer-awayer “It is what it is,” goes a long way to maintaining our stability in an uncertain world.  In times of stress a quick visit to the mental medicine cabinet for a handy dose of “It is what it is” often provides immediate temporary relief for minor existential pain. So what if it’s just a placebo masking the anxiety-producing effects of gnawing, insoluble challenges. This brings to mind the unlaunched man-child who finally realizes: “Jesus, I’ve got to move out of this basement for so many reasons. The first one is because the people living upstairs don’t even know I’m down here. Oh well, it is what it is.”

And as much as I belittle “It is what it is” I wouldn’t want to exclude it from our coping repertoire. It’s important to make some kind of informed decision and then act upon it. I mean we don’t want a lot of quibbling philosopher-Kings running around spouting-off, “Yes, but why does my toast burn when the universe knows I’d prefer it otherwise.” We don’t need that level of self-absorption. We need people to keep their noses to the grindstone so the rest of us can enjoy the freedom of going to a 7-11 at 3 a.m. for a Slurpee fix. Let us all stay engaged and directed. We know life is at its best when it’s uncomplicated, and saying “It is what it is” helps to keep it that way. Read the rest of this entry »